Yes, I think I should write a letter to her, have been thinking about it. Maybe it's time to draft it here. I want to write something

Rose, 

By the time you are seeing this letter, I am already gone overseas for my Masters degree. It has been six years since our break up, and yet with all these years passing by my sentiments towards you seem no lessen by time but merely make my heart grow fonder. 

For six years I have been trying my best to conceal my feelings for you, for I know you would prefer it that way, but lately I have no longer been able to cage up my thoughts. The confession is literally forced out of me, and I would like to ask for your forgiveness over any inconvenience caused by this letter.

It is clear to me now, finally after all these times for myself to ponder over the matter, and more important, my self. It was my lack of self appreciation, due to perhaps not very merry a childhood and competitive schooling I received as a boy, that gave me fear and loneliness all the years before I have met you. 

In order to make up for the lack of courage, I tried to play the charming, confident, self which deep down just making matters worse with the people in my life. Thus the bipolar of loathe and lust. You would never be able to imagine how difficult it is for me to go through all the self-doubts, mirages of hope and disappointment before coming to peace with my self and my past.

Whenever I am in deep self-doubt, I think of you, and you are the pillar of my endure of such odyssey. There is no nights when I wouldn't be thinking of you when I sleep, because dream is the only place where I can see you again and confess myself. 

There is no point dwell on the past though, and I ask myself do I still have feelings for you? The truth is I loved you, and I still do, but nothing stands comparison with you really being happy with someone you meet later in your journey, which is more important than me being able to see you again, if we are to be. For I love you, I have always wished that you may be happy with someone else for the rest of your life, and to your your family, and yet because I love you, I will not bear seeing you being together with someone else, I will not survive.  though I do not bear to be the witness of.

If it is meant to be, we will not see each other for the rest of our lives, and for the above reasons it is perhaps the best possible outcome, but my heart will forever be fond of you as all female literature students are to Rupert Brooke, until I am become dust.

I just want to thank you for having loved me as you did. I just have to tell you how I still feel towards you, and you deserve to read about it. It makes be happy to be able to just say that to you.

Please send my regards to your family and to your sister, she has shown me great compassion at that time and her words are still educational up till this very moment.

Pray excuse this letter, effort was put to make this letter most agreeable.

Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday, A Jubilee New year, and Forever am I affectionately

Yours,

Andrew

( When I was writing this, I caught up on a few of my old essays. They were actually copied and stored by others at their own website, something really embarrassing.)