Misunderstandings

1.My cousin says my haircut is awful, which I agree. But then there's something lies beneath. You know we men don't do talking and express our hearts and so on, and I felt that all I can do for my dad is to let him cut my hair, although it's not good-looking, that's the only way I felt I can adequately express myself to him.

2.I think my cousin is brave enough, or just me a child? She just broke with her boyfriend whom she has been dating with for four years, and then she alone is going to have ct-scans and x-ray, a full body check-up to see what's wrong causing her illness. If I am her, I would probably make a drama out of it.

But she's calm and kindly recollects her memories for me :

" I was childish and always being the drama queen. He finally couldn't stand it so he decided to let things cool down. I am still waiting for him."

"So why only learning until now?"

"Because usually it's me who dumps the other half not vice versa, but when I am getting 31 and decide to be more serious about love and marriage, suddenly things change."

3.This would be the year for me starting my hall life, I bought some bed sheets, a blanket, a dirty clothes' bag, two small boxes, two towels, four hangers. I am going to bring some white shorts and long trousers, with T-shirts, and a suit. A computer, some stationary and the Millennium Trilogy.

The bed sheet, blanket, bag, boxes are all white and transparent. I feel that white would give myself and simple tranquil life. A life that I have long desired. I hope I am getting along well with my roommate.=]

4. For three years, no calls, no seeing each other, just me sending cards to her, and under the circumstances that she long stated that she wanted to break up with me.

I give my last ounce of courage, and I dialed the number. Missed call, I sent her a text message, but when I seemed to be seeing a missed call myself in my phone, or a received message, I simply took off the battery and changed my phone.

I just don't know why, perhaps for three years it has been helping improving myself, by imaging that she still loves me and thus pushing myself to be better and better, but then it's also my last and only scar left, a scar that I would need to get rid of to become completely independent. If she loves me, she will be able to wait for the day we finally meet without a date. If she doesn't love and that message is simply a "no", that makes no difference and I don't want to know it.

It's more like, okay, you love a girl, she has a boyfriend. You say well it's okay, be well, and walk away. That does not mean you can't take the truth by walking away, I mean, even though you take that truth, accept that fact, you don't have to painfully prove your point by facing that girl and her lover all day right? That's sounding some psychotic.