I think in all eventualities, there is still a likely possibility that my parents are getting revorced.

Dad has his dreams, Mom has her dreams. They have finished raising us, they should go for their dreams, I'd respect that.

At the same time I must count on the fact that since I cannot possibly rely on him, I must be able to find my own way to deal with things. Financial stability is one of them.

I think failing the MT programme to me is quite a failure. Although people say "Hey that's just a mismatch" It does deprive of me the networking opportunities.

At one side I really hope to make friends and have some networking, but on the other I do feel stressed and uneasy in socialising with people I don't know. There can well be a tendency of which I do indeed try very much to impress or being to intimidated with people I hardly know. I am also not overly aware of the way people would handle or perceive situations.

It's a been a whole year and I presume I need to start writing in here again.

What is clear to me is that Rose will never be with me again, perhaps it does mean I will need to keep writing to myself like this more than ever.